Mama Bear

mama-bear

“You are Mama Bear”, the pediatrician’s nurse said to me.

I used to shake my head at moms who I thought were “extreme” about their babies- washing hands, using hand sanitizer and practicing “cocooning” (sheltering until the baby is old enough to handle visitors and outdoors). I’m talking about that mom that has a specific way of caring for her baby (from diaper changes to bottle feeding) and keeps a close eye on how other people handle her. It’s the mom that stands by their kid through the good, the bad and the ugly.

They are the Mama Bears. I’ve heard them roar and I’ve joined their pack.

As a first time mom and one of a preemie, I’m very protective of the little one that took so much to come into this world. You better believe I make sure people at the bare minimum wash their hands before holding her. If I see even a nose wipe, hear a sniffle or the faint sound of a cough, baby visiting hours are closed. As she gets older, I think about what I want to expose her to and what I want to shelter her from. One thing is for sure though, I am her protector, front and center. Every day, all the time.

It’s amazing how much my motherly instincts have taken over. I am her advocate. The role of Mama Bear is real. It’s not caring about other people’s feelings when it comes to your baby. It’s being the “brave” one that stands between her cubs and everyone else.

I am Mama Bear.

Our Little One

bottle

Everything happens for a reason. Timing is everything.

There was a short 5 weeks left to plan everything. Just having signed a lease to a new place that had an extra bedroom to build a nursery in, we were just starting to get everything together. A short 5 weeks, I would tell myself. 5 weeks can go by so fast.

I wasn’t prepared to deliver 5 weeks early due to severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome that developed what seemed like overnight. My baby wanted out and my body was tired of playing host. The doctors kept saying that if I was induced it would give my family time to get to the hospital from Texas to be with me, and I needed them to be there. With my platelet count and blood pressure out of control, my condition went from starting the process of induction to emergency c-section the next morning. I will never forget the kindness of friends and family, Justin always at my side, and the relief I felt when I saw my dad’s face after getting on a midnight flight to be with me. Timing is everything.

With little time to process everything, it wasn’t long before I heard our little one cry, a cry that made both Justin and I also cry. She was here, a tiny 3 lb. girl ready to meet the world and hungry as hell. Her days in the NICU were shorter than expected and we were able to bring her home sooner than we thought. With family as overwhelming help and support, we were ready to welcome our little one to an actual home and not a hot mess filled with unpacked boxes that would’ve surely been the case if it wasn’t for them.

As I stare at her tiny face, body swaddled all nice and cozy and wearing the same little hat she got at the hospital because it’s the only one that fits her, I still can’t believe that she’s mine. That I made her. That she grew into a tiny human inside me. I get teary-eyed just looking at her, wanting to hold her in my favorite position of her head on my chest while I kiss her tiny head.

It’s tough to stay present in the moment when you have your mind wrapped up in feeding times, pumping, diaper changes, formula-making, breastfeeding, sleep and how-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do-this-on-my-own fears, but I  am constantly reminding myself to enjoy the sweet moments. I can already see her getting bigger and bigger everyday and pretty soon she won’t be able to take a nap on my chest anymore.

They say it’s different when you have a baby. That when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time your world is forever changed. That being a mom changes you in ways you never thought was possible. I can say right now, with my hormones and emotions off the charts, that I am the luckiest woman in the world that our little Olivia chose me to be her mommy, her advocate and her protector. After all we’ve been through, I can’t let her down.

Everything happens for a reason. Timing is everything.

little one

friday’s fab five {1.23.15}

The fab five is posted every Friday to end the week on a happy note and features items on my radar that I’m loving right now. Who knows, you might find something that could be on your fab five list!

What are you up to this weekend? My mom and sisters hosted the best baby shower this weekend and I’m so happy we were able to make it happen. This kid is going to be so loved it’s ridiculous. Justin was able to meet me here and I decided to hang out with the parents for a couple of days afterwards as it’ll be my last time to travel before the adventures of mommy hood consumes my life. Add to that a new house to move into. Let the adventures begin!

Here’s this week’s fab five:

1. Dance Cardio with Natalia

Stop whatever you’re doing and watch this video, seriously. This girl rocks, and I’m proud to say she’s my sister. Her class is a mix of hip hop and latin, and guaranteed to make you sweat your you-know-what off. It’s the only kind of workout I’ll do aside from yoga, and she makes it fun. Check out her youtube channel and facebook page. If you’re in Dallas- try a class!

2. Recipe of the week: Chocolate Desserts

chocolate-desserts

image via Today Show

Since I couldn’t pick just one, I decided to link the recipes shown on the Today Show for your viewing (and cooking) pleasure. I’ll take one of everything please!

3. Grey and Yellow Baby Shoes $26

greay-yellow-baby-shoes

image via etsy

Can we talk about how utterly adorable these baby shoes are?? Since I’m thinking the nursery colors would be grey and yellow, you can tell where my mind is as far as colors. So, so cute.

4. Valentine’s Day Candle Holder $40

valentines-day-candle-holder

image via etsy

So pretty, even if you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. These candle holders give the right amount of soft lighting to any room.

5. Jimmy Fallon Plays “Catchphrase” with Jennifer Lopez

I couldn’t stop laughing at this, I so want to play it! My family’s game is Taboo, so this one is right up our alley. I was afraid J.Lo’s top was going to reveal too much at one point, but she’s got her team on it. Fun game!

That’s it for me, have a great weekend everyone!