pregnant with a toddler- the struggle is real

I know pregnancy makes you tired, especially in the last month, but I was not prepared for how tired I’d feel this time around. My daughter had issues with me as her nutrition host and was a tiny, pre-term 3 lb. baby who just made me sick all the way up to delivery. But I could take a nap on demand (when I wasn’t nauseous), and plan her arrival calmly.

This time is so different. While in hindsight I appreciate the fact that my daughter kept me just distracted enough to not have the luxury of feeling sick all day (the DayQuil commercials come to mind when the mom goes into her kids room and asks to take a sick day), as time has gone by and my belly gets bigger, it’s harder for me to keep up with her. I’m tired all day, not sleeping, and chasing a toddler with the energy of a hopping Energizer bunny.

I wasn’t prepared to be this exhausted 24/7 with a toddler running around and an unborn son who thankfully is on target and using my body and thriving. All this while trying to wrap my head around all the things that need to get done to get a house ready to accommodate two little ones with completely different needs.

I struggle with trying to fit in so many things that I want to do with my daughter as we come to a close as a twosome, with the reality that my body just can’t do it. While zoo trips and beach days sound awesome, I’m slowly caving into the fact that movie afternoons are where it needs to be at. Queue up Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid.

So while I’d love to hear any thoughts out there from other moms who have have dealt with this exact situation, I know that I’m not alone and that I’ll be fine. My mom did this exact thing and my sisters and I came out just fine (or so she keeps telling us). Still- any advice on how to survive this last month of pregnancy with an active toddler would be much appreciated!

baby thoughts: lessons for our little boy

I did a lessons for our girl when Liv was still hanging out in my tummy, so it was only appropriate to do a lessons for our little boy the second time around. With a baby boy it’s different. My focus on our little boy is to be a kind human being that is respectful and knows how to treat a lady. There is something different when I think about the fact that Justin and I are going to be raising a little boy who will someday become a man. While I desperately wanted Liv not to be a bratty kid, with a boy I want desperately for him to be a gentleman.

Lesson #1: Education

Just like our wish list for our little girl, education is also big for our little boy. School is so important and I want to make sure that we do everything we can to set him up for a future he can be successful in. It’s probably why we are struggling to find a name that will fit him. While we want his name to be someone who is a “nice guy”, we want the name to also sound great as the president of a reputable company (even if it’s his own).

Lesson #2: Bilingual

It’s been tougher than I thought to get our little girl to speak more Spanish, and I think it’s because 99% of what she’s exposed to is in English. I can talk to her in Spanish all day long, but when daddy comes home or when she’s at her grandparents house (on either side), it’s English all day long. I thought my mom would be my right hand in speaking to her only in Spanish, but it’s surprisingly not been the case. I have to keep in mind that while we were growing up, Spanish is her native language, and while I grew up learning both, living here with an English-speaking spouse and friends gives in to a different environment. We have plenty of books that are bilingual, and I do my best to reference objects and people in Spanish, but it’s been an uphill battle.

Lesson #3: A Gentleman

This is a big one. My dad is old-fashioned when it comes to how to treat a lady, (it also probably has to do with the fact that he’s got a sister and three daughters) and while it can seem a bit overboard to some (especially in the American culture- not so much in the Italian or Mexican culture), I love that he’s been taught to be chivalrous in respect to women. The idea of “taking care” of women in respect to opening doors, walking them to their cars/house, making sure they get home OK, and even paying a the end of a meal are all things that, in this day in age, seems contradictory to the stance of equality for women, but to me is a sign of a man who respects and takes the time to care for women.

Lesson #4: Well-Mannered

Please, thank you, excuse me- all day, everyday. I take pride in the fact that I currently do this with our little girl. You want some milk? Say please. Daddy gave you a snack? Say thank you. Mya in front of you? Say excuse me. I wanted to start this early on with Liv so that it becomes second nature to her and she gets older and let me tell you, the unprompted thank you’s and please’s are music to my ears. Hopefully she’ll be able to help me in training our little boy to do the same thing.

So that’s it. Our little wish list for our little boy!

it’s really happening (baby #2): 3rd trimester

Home stretch! Jesus I can’t believe I’m starting my 3rd trimester. At the latest, in 11 weeks we’ll be welcoming a new baby into the world. A little brother for Liv, a son for Justin and another baby to keep this crazy family of ours interesting and full of love. It’s all incredibly overwhelming, but keeping a list of shit that needs to get done before that time comes has actually helped. Lord help us.

Oh, and this is an accurate picture of what my bladder feels like 24/7. Even if I JUST pee’d 5 seconds ago.

Here’s how I’m doing this time around:

1. How big is the baby?

Baby is the size of a Barbie convertible, or an acorn squash (if you’re better with food- cue Julia Roberts line from My Best Friends Wedding). He’s super active and kicking all the time, especially at night when I’m the most chill (a.k.a toddler is sleeping). 

2. Foods I Love…

Let the sour trend continue! Rueben sandwiches are my weakness. The pickles, thousand island dressing, pastrami and cheese are just heaven to my tastebuds. Skip the coleslaw or sauerkraut this time around. I have been really cautious about eating deli meat, but rueben sandwiches are heated and after getting the OK from the doc, I’m all up in that. 

3. Foods I Hate…

Anything string-y or chopped that will make my throat and GERD flare up. I curse the coleslaws, chopped salads, chopped nuts, granola, oatmeal and seeds of the world right now. I’ll welcome them back once this baby is out, but as of now, be gone or there will be consequences. 

4. How I’m Feeling…

Aside from not sleeping due to restless leg syndrome, insomnia and typical I-cant-find-a-good-position-to-sleep-with-pregnant-belly issues, I’m feeling ok. I get tired a lot during the day and need to take a nap while my toddler naps or else I’m beat before my husband can get home (there was a moment last week when a nap did not happen and as I’m trying my best to stay awake, my toddler is going around in circles singing “walking, walking, walking!!”). Picking up toys and things that fall on the floor are given a long pause in deciding whether or not to bend down and get them, which I have now left to my husband. It’s just too much work to pick them up and my organs don’t seem to appreciate being folded in half while I pick up the Elmo figurine for the 10th time. Since I am feeling better overall, I’ve taken a bit of excitement in dressing this new bump. I didn’t have much of one with Liv because of all the issues, and my attire consisted of sweatpants and tops just to make it through each day, so pregnancy dresses have been fun to try on and buy. 

5. Looking Forward To…

Baby sprinkles and showers! Justin and I don’t need much aside from essentials we borrowed the first time around and slobbered on teethers and bottle nipples, but it’s fun to celebrate a little boy joining our family. It’ll be exciting to celebrate with the color BLUE this time 🙂 

6. Scared About…

Problems that arose with the first pregnancy coming back for seconds. Also the big to-do list I keep adding to and fear of not getting done. The last delivery was out of the blue, rushed and nothing was ready (including a new house and baby stuff) so I like that I can at least figure out what I’m packing in my hospital bag and organizing baby stuff BEFORE baby comes (at least that’s the idea). 

7. Things I’ve Learned…

That millions of moms do this 2 kid thing everyday. The internal mind struggles, fear of the unknown and the how-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do-this thoughts are calmed by the fact that my mom and my mother-in-law have done this exact thing. I’m grateful that Justin is my teammate in this transition and an active father. I’m learned that we are a true team when it comes to our kids, and adding one more will just make that team stronger, with more laughs and less sleep 🙂