it’s really happening (baby #2)

Alright, at 21 weeks and halfway through this thing. In a couple of months we’ll be knee deep in diaper changes, late night feedings and being parents of a newborn again. I’m wrapping my head around the logistics of bringing another baby into the world, and as I hang out with my little one and rock her to sleep while my obvious pregnant belly is getting bigger and bigger, I’m reminded to savor those precious moments of us as a twosome.

Here’s how I’m doing this time around:

1. How big is the baby?

Baby is the size of baseball hat or a baby bok choy. He’s super active and kicking all the time. I’m carrying this baby differently this time around which the doctor has blamed gender and stretched uterus, go figure. 

2. Foods I Love…

Pickles! Cliche as all hell, but I’ve sent Justin on a run for pickles now, and I HATE pickles. Never eat them when they come with sandwiches, always pick them off burgers, but with this pregnancy I want them so bad. Truffles are also a win- but I don’t know if I would blame that on pregnancy…

3. Foods I Hate…

Super heavy food and seafood. It’s just too much and I feel like I have to walk around and help everything move and it’s just not worth it. I’m eating more than with Olivia, which is awesome, but there is quite a bit of maintenance and supervision that has to be done so I don’t feel like shit. 

4. How I’m Feeling…

While I think this pregnancy is going better than my first, I’m getting all sorts of new discomforts like round ligament pain and back pain. Maybe it’s because I’m carrying him differently, my placenta is in a good spot this time around and baby boy is super active, who knows. I think my body just got its shit together this time around, but I feel better. First trimester was a bitch, and I don’t wish that on anyone, so I’m happy to be in second trimester (although I wouldn’t call it bliss). 

5. Looking Forward To…

Keeping on, keeping on. Feeling OK, celebrating with friends and family to help welcome this new baby, the joy of giving Olivia a sibling and becoming a family of four. Our ultrasound was great and everything seems to be progressing the way that it should. 

6. Scared About…

The probability of developing preeclampsia again with this pregnancy. I am reading that there is a 20-30% chance of it happening again just because of the severity of the last one (HELLP syndrome). I’m checking my blood pressure everyday and monitoring my symptoms closely. Hopefully since I know what to look for, I”ll be better prepared to handle it if it happens again. 

7. Things I’ve Learned…

Give into the cravings- why the hell not? Walking is also good for everyone involved including Olivia and Mya. I’ve also learned that although my bond with Olivia is so super strong, I’m happy that we are giving her a sibling to partner through life. I was listening to a podcast by Jeff Kluger who wrote a book called The Sibling Effect. At the end of his speech, he says that siblings “give each other a sense of constancy, a sense of having a permanent traveling companion and somebody with whom they road tested life with before they ever had to get out and travel it on their own. They are among the richest harvests that life has to offer.” I know with the closeness that my sisters and I share, I feel so grateful my parents decided to do that for me. 

Happy Birthday Olivia!



Our little one has made it a year. I can’t even believe it.

As much as I’d like to take the credit for keeping our little one alive, sick-free and happy for a whole 12 months, I didn’t do it alone. We are a team. We’ll always be a team.

So here’s what I have to say to you, my little one, on your first birthday:

I never, in a million years, felt my heart so full as when we brought you home. Your tiny hands trying to hold on to my finger, hanging on my every move and trusting your tiny, 3lb. body with me to protect, comfort and introduce you to this new scary world. I made it my job to be everything you needed and took the role of “Mama Bear” like it was the most important job.

When we would spend hours of the day together and I wondered whether you knew who I was, you gave me your first real smile. When you wanted to put a word together to communicate with us, you said “Mama”. When you discovered your hands and feet and wanted to show me, you touch your thumb and finger for “Itsy Bitsy Spider” as I had done with you since you were a couple months old. I’ll never forget that.

When you got excited and wanted to use your hands, you start to clap. You learned to roll over and crawl so you could explore the world at full speed. You try to make sounds into words to communicate with us. You take such great interest in little details of things that make me stop and admire them the way that you do.

Now that you’re crawling like crazy, blowing and giving kisses, waving and making all kinds of funny sounds, I feel more connected with you than ever. Although you’re growing up way too fast for my heart, the best part about that is that it’s only the beginning.

I’ll tell you again as I told you when you were born, I promise to be your advocate and protector. I still feel like the luckiest woman to be your mommy.

You make me so happy. Happy birthday little one.



Baby Stations


Before Kids: Master Bedroom, Living Room and Baby Room

After Kids: Station #1, Station #2, Baby Room (Station #3)

Walk into our house and there should be no question we have a kid. Our living room is packed with books, bead mazes and so many things that play music, sing songs and flash an obscene amount of lights. We know all the songs on the Playskool drum activity station (“yeah yeah!”) and VTech walker (“welcome to our learning farm, we have much to show you!”) it’s almost sad. But our little one loves it and it keeps her entertained without staring at a TV so we roll with it.

Our day consists of going from baby station to baby station, up and down the stairs, with 2 breaks for naps. I hear the songs when they aren’t playing and know the books by memory (Brown Bear, Brown Bear anyone?). With all of that, I’m still amazed of how much our little one learns everyday and how much more she can can do today than she did yesterday.

When she goes to sleep at night and I start winding down from the day, I look at these toys and look forward to what new skill she’ll figure out tomorrow. Until then, I enjoy the silent break.


Then I lay my head on the pillow and my mind says:

“welcome to our learning farm, we have much to show you…”