the sound of silence

Newborn. Toddler. Dog. Husband. Right now all 4 are sleeping, taking naps to re-charge for the rest of the day (except my dog, that’s all she does these days).

I’m on my keyboard, that being the only sound aside from the snores of my beagle and the air conditioner. I miss this silence. When things are quiet and I can actually sit with my own thoughts, embracing and soaking in the stillness. It doesn’t last long.

At this particular time we are maneuvering the demands of a toddler and the needs of a newborn. Both happening at the same time, and both carrying the same amount of importance and priority. My husband’s paternity leave is ending this weekend and on Monday it’s me + the kids. God help me. Oh, and did I mention we decided to potty train my toddler this weekend? Yeah, we’re doing that too. Cue head shake.

If someone should ask how I’m doing, I would say its complicated. With a moderate case of postpartum depression, missing my family and juggling to find my new normal come Monday, I would say I’m a *little* overwhelmed.

The real reality sets in when the dust settles and everyone goes back to their before-baby routine. Family goes back home, husband goes back to work, and just like that it’s just you and the kiddos trying to figure out how to get through the day. As a stay at home mom, Monday is staring at me with a “so what are you going to do?” look.

I’ve got no choice but to figure it out. It was daunting how me + new baby were going to get into a groove, and we figured it out. Me + toddler + new baby will also figure it out. It’ll be different, but eventually (after much trial and error), we’ll find our groove. To all the mamas out there freaking out about the same thing, trying to wrap their heads around how they are going to get through the day, believe me when I say it’ll happen. At the end of the day, we have no choice but to make it work, and we will.

In the meantime, I’m just going to sit here. Basking in the silence. Before the chaos commences once again.

awkward silence

Hey readers! I thought I would write this post today to hopefully make you laugh a bit (or at least smile) to get ready for the weekend.

There are a few things that run consistently in my daily work life:

1. I’m always late (and no it’s not disrespectful of other people’s time when there isn’t a meeting)

2. I get my morning coffee, usually around the same time as another guy in the office who I usually engage in small talk. When I ask him how he is, I get the same response every time: “trying to make it” he says, with a big smile on his face. Yep, me too.

3. Keep my bright pink water bottle filled with that lovely H2O. I was told that the water in Hawaii is awesome and doesn’t taste like water. I need to try that.

4. I listen to dance music at work. For some reason it helps me write and that’s cool.

One thing that I didn’t mention is that I take the elevator every morning. My office is located on the second floor, and although I could take the stairs, I usually opt for the cardio friendly elevator.

The elevator is such an interesting concept, taking you from one floor to another with no effort on your part. I mean, I guess you have to make an effort to press the button. One of the days, if I ever work in an office with lots of floors, I want to be like Will Ferrell in Elf and push all the buttons (“It looks like a Christmas Tree!”).

The elevator is made to pack in as many people as possible and force awkward silences and insincere politeness. There are all kinds of elevator personalities:

– Those that just look up the entire time (as if they are helping the elevator get to its destination with super powers).

– Those that make filler noises (grumbling, sighing, grunting).

– Those that insist on talking on their phone and are still surprised when the call is dropped (did I lose you?).

– Those that try to make small talk (man it’s cold out there!).

– Those that just smile at everyone, which annoys me because they are the morning people (I don’t like morning people. They are the reason I need to be at work before noon).

Then those are those like me who look for something to focus on. I always focus on the sign on the door that certifies the elevator is safe (certificate of something or other). I still don’t know what this thing says but I look at it everyday.

I’m lucky that my elevator experience hasn’t been that bad. I haven’t encountered smelly people, crying babies or people who let one out as the doors are closing. I haven’t had to be packed in like sardines. I understand it would be much worse, and I’m sorry if you’re one of the ones that has to endure those situations. If I were you, I’d take the stairs.

So next time, when you’re in that elevator (going down or up), take a look around at the elevator personalities. If you encounter one, just look down (or around) and quietly laugh at them, that’s always fun. Have a great weekend!!

Oh, and tomorrow is my sister’s birthday. Happy Birthday Vanessa!!! Love you sister 🙂